Part Deux: Why I’m the Only one crying it out

Hey Squishies, time for part deux of my Getcher Kid In His Crib series! So as I said before, I had gotten several comments about why bed sharing was going to be so very bad and horrible, but that didn’t change the simple fact that it worked for us. It was how I got the most sleep. It allowed for easy access to the promised land boobs. It worked really great for 8.5 months, until it didn’t.

Squishy Baby began getting more mobile in bed, and wanting to roll away from the crook of my arm. He began wanting to nurse all night long- and I mean ALL night long, because every time he nudged me and smelled the boobage it signaled something within him that made him think “breakfast?!” now?? No?? How bout now? No? How bout now?!” and so on and so forth. As I type this I am also lacing my shoes with my nipples before we head out for the day. Seriously. My Boobs deserve some kind of award, like the Nursies or something. I totally deserve a Nursie.

Anyway, so I knew getting Squishy Baby in the crib was going to be about as easy as teaching a goldfish to blow its nose. I knew this from previous attempts of me setting him down in the crib and then him acting as if I had placed him in a kiddie pool full of piranhas. They also don’t know how to blow their noses. Anyway. I knew it would be tough so I wanted to ease the transition as much as possible. Someone recommended that I get him used to the room by sleeping in the nursery with him, and bed sharing.

So, I bought a nap map from Costco, which is about as comfortable as sleeping on 3 inches of foam can be and we slept together on the floor of the nursery for about a week and a half. We moved our nighttime routine into the nursery, (books,bottle,nursing) after bath of course, and it went very well. He seemed to transition wonderfully as long as I was there.

Then one night, I thought I’d try laying him in the crib after nursing and rocking and just seeing what happened. What happened was that he slept for an hour! Then I nursed him back to sleep and he slept another two! He slept in the crib that night, and then did the same for naps during the day. He began trying to push away from me during rocking to let me know he was ready to be put down to sleep. I listened to his cues, as I have from the beginning, and they’ve never lead me astray. I should add that during this time I continued to sleep on the floor next to his crib so that he knew I was right there, like always. But he was IN HIS CRIB.

You guys. I don’t know if you can understand the hugeness of this. I texted Mr. Squish that day like I had witnessed a unicorn chewing on the Loch Ness monster’s tail in our front yard. “You won’t believe this…he’s in the crib….SLEEPING.”

Now, I’m not going to lie to you and say every night is easy. He’s up about 3 times a night on average to nurse and rock to sleep. It’s a lot. Yes, he should be sleeping all night long or in bigger chunks- but this?! This is progress, and I’ll take it. I’ll take it and hug it and ask where it’s been since we’ve been hoping for just naps in the crib for forever. Also, I realize this period of his life is so short, that yes, I’m tired, but I also know that all too soon I will be straining to hear him lumber up the steps after a night out with friends, and I won’t be sleeping soundly then either.

My baby likes me to rock him, so I do. He likes to be held, so I do. In this family, we don’t rush things, and I’m in no hurry to let him grow up and away just yet. So for now, again, this works for us. I hope this helps some other moms out there find a gentle approach to crib sleeping if that’s what you’re after. We haven’t had many tears except when he wakes up and cries “mama…mama…MAMA!” which, oh my goodness you guys. It makes opening that door to pick him up for snuggles the best thing this life has to offer. How I love that boy. So, no crying it out here- except of course when you realize your baby can sleep by himself on his own, and then there might be some tears for you. Some of us may or may not have had a little cry it out party over that at first. We also may or may not stand over the crib and marvel at God’s gracious miracles as they sleep.

Happy Friday everyone! Have a blessed weekend with lots of tearless sleep!

Why I’m the Only One Crying It Out in This Family- part 1

Hey there Squishies, I’m writing this from beneath the lower half of my eyelids so forgive me any typos or snoring noises that maybe coming from your screen. I wanted to share with you a bit more about something I mentioned in a previous post about cosleeping,bed sharing, and my baby not sleeping in his crib.

I want to help any other mother I can out there, to trust herself and her instincts about her particular baby. SquishyBaby has never been a great sleeper. From day one I didn’t feel complete without that little squishy lump asleep on my shoulder or at my boob. The feeling was mutual. And so it was. I had thought prior to birth that letting my baby cry it out would be the easy thing for us- what would make the most sense for us as a family. I wanted my evenings free! I wanted time with my husband! And then he was born. And I didn’t put him down. It was pretty much pregnancy on the outside! I was told I was spoiling him, that I was creating bad habits. In my mind, I was soaking up every ounce of baby that I could. When he began having bleeding due to allergies, he went from bedside bassinet to my bed. And there we slept together for 8 1/2 months.

This is where I give a nice little shout out to Mr. Squish, who slept on a couch without complaint so that we could have more room. His sacrifice is perhaps one that I will look back on as his greatest for our little family. He loves his boy so.

Now, *bed sharing worked for us because it allowed me to nurse and sleep without getting out of bed. For the past 8 months it has allowed me to sleep throughout the night with barely any waking to nurse. SquishyBaby loved to curl next to me and nurse and then lay his head on my arm in deep slumber. I never allowed him to sleep anywhere but in the crook of my arm so that I would be alerted if he tried to move or roll away from me.

For almost 9 months I have held him for every nap, and slept with him in my arms every evening. Creating a monster? Nah. Difficult and draining at times? Sure. Would I change it? Never.

I researched the cry it out methods a few times during these 9 months, at times just getting desperate for a moment to myself to sleep in a comfortable position without my boobs being used for the 2012 Comfort Olympics. I purchased the books, I read the blogs and forums. We tried it twice with both times feeling like it just wasn’t right for our family, and especially SquishyBaby. So, I decided to ignore the looks I got when I said we bed shared, and I continued to do what felt best for us.

I wanted to wait until he was ready to sleep on his own, though I was warned that day wouldn’t come until he was 10. You know the comments…”oh I couldn’t get my kid out of my bed until they were 10!” “oh that’s a hard one to break” “you’ve done it now, your poor husband!”

Well friends, that day came today, and my baby is eleven months old. Not ten years. And there were no tears (well, I’m lying,because I cried today when I realized he’s growing up)!

Stay tuned for my next post about listening to your instincts, your baby’s needs, and getting them in the crib with no tears ( except for maybe yours. I make no promises there!).

* disclaimer: always do what is best for your family and your baby. Practice safe bed sharing always if you are going to attempt it. This is what worked for us, and our child.

A Little Addendum

After writing yesterday’s post about sponsoring Surya, I realized that I failed to mention something that struck me as wonderfully surprising about World Vision that I need to share. After we clicked “sponsor” and became official I went to my new login and information page at World Vision to see little Surya’s face one more time( you would too if you could see how sweet he is. I would love to share his picture but it’s not allowed, and since I don’t put SquishyBaby’s picture here either I can respect that!). Anyway, in the corner under his picture there was a little notation that said “sensitive area alert.”

I clicked on it to see what that meant, and basically World Vision believes in helping ALL children of ALL faiths, and so it was instructing me that my child lives in a non-Christian nation and I must respect and honor that. Most likely, he is Muslim, or perhaps Hindu or Sikh. To be honest, I don’t know enough about his region of India to say. World Vision wants me to be aware that I should not, in any communication with Surya’s family, mention Jesus Christ, or Christianity out of respect for his family and faith.

Can I just say, that speaks volumes to me about this organization? I shy away from preachy things and try to show my faith instead of just saying it, and this little “sensitive area warning” reaffirms my decision to sponsor a child with this organization. I won’t ever mention Jesus in my letters to Surya. If I love him and his family though, in the way God is asking my family to, I shouldn’t have to.

A Brother from Another Mother

Hey there Squishies! There’s been something I’ve wanted to tell you about for a few weeks now,but just haven’t had the time to sit down and write it all out. As Squishybaby slumbers peacefully nuzzled into my boob, now seems like the perfect time to type on my iPad feverishly with one finger.

Anyway, for the longest time now Mr. Squish and I have heard about an organization called World Vision and what they are doing around the world to help children in need. We have always felt God tugging on our hearts to sponsor a child, but never answered the call. This is me being totally honest- I worried that the money wouldn’t go to the child. I worried that we wouldn’t be able to support the child until he was 18. What if and worries. Worry is an insult to God, but it’s also something I’ve struggled with since I began worrying that my umbilical cord made me look fat. I’ve worried awhile.

Then a few weeks ago, one of my favorite bloggers Allison announced that she would be traveling to Sri Lanka with World Vision, and that her family began sponsoring a baby there. This again began to stir up the whispers in my heart telling me we needed to consider sponsoring a child. The whispers were a bit more shouty now that I have my own baby. I can imagine myself a mother in another country without all of the comforts I take for granted in raising my own baby. ( A life without puffs? Wipes? Baby Tylenol? Lord help me.)

Having a baby changes everything and how you look at it- you begin to see your baby in every baby. And that’s what happened. I researched my questions about the money and got great answers( World Vision is very financially transparent). As I scrolled through the many faces of babies born in 2011( I searched by birth year and month to look at babies that were around squishy baby’s age) I found him. There was little Surya from India, five days younger than my baby. He had my baby’s eyes, and smile….and there it was. There was no way of clicking past his face to another child, no way of closing the page and going to unload the dishwasher. We needed to do this, for Surya, yes- but in my mind, for his mother, more. As a mother my heart would break a million times over if I couldn’t provide my baby with what he needed to grow up healthy. And so, God’s been speaking to me about this for quite some time- but it took a Mother’s heart to answer. Thankfully, He’s patient.

Mr. Squish was fully on board because he’s felt the tug right along with me- so much so that when I brought it up over dinner that we should pray because I found a baby that looked like ours and it seemed like a God thing, he didn’t even feel like we needed to pray for direction at all. He already felt it was what we should do. Reason 346,455,789,456 x infinity I love that man.

So, now we sponsor little Surya for $35 a month- I will get updates and letters, and I can send letters to him and his family too. I am so looking forward to introducing Squishybaby to his brother from another mother one day- maybe even in person, as we can visit him if we choose! I cannot wait to watch this little guy grow along with my own little guy, and know that across the world we are making a tiny difference in one sweet boy’s life.

Go here to take a look around and see if sponsoring a child is something God might have you do- even if it’s not for you right now, it’s an incredible organization to learn more about!

A Moo-less Life

One of the things that has made motherhood so interesting is that Squishy Baby has an intolerance to dairy and soy. We figured this out when he was 3 months old and began having blood in his diapers with mucousy stool ( can I get a holla back yo to the parents out there who didn’t expect to be ok inspecting their child’s diaper like it was a rare diamond every time they changed it?!). So anyway, this intolerance meant that I too had to become dairy and soy free as my child has an intense love of the boob food.

In the beginning it was incredibly difficult. It was downright hard. I love Icecream with an intense undying affection and it was going to be a difficult divorce. When my favorite Icecream parlor since I was two reopened after shutting down a mere month after his diagnosis, I may have lifted my hands in the air and screamed”WHYYYYY?!?!” but that’s neither here nor there. For some reason this blog keeps capitalizing Icecream and you know, that just seems fitting. The blog knows its author very well.

This no dairy or soy adventure led us to a fancy expensive formula, and very limited eating out options. The problem Is that dairy/soy is in ev-er-y-thing, right down to the bread that accompanies your hamburger(cheeseburgers are a distant memory to me now, but every time I order a hamburger I have a moment of silence.). So, because it’s not enough that I can only eat at two or three restaurants, and only have a hamburger while there, I also have to bring my own bun. B.Y.O.B., if you will. Thankfully I have found a company that makes soy/dairy free buns (Rudi’s Organic Bakery for the WIN!) so when I order my sad cheese less burger, I am able to do a switcheroo of the buns. I get some crazy looks, especially if we are out to a sit down restaurant that clears the table. Usually on my plate all that is left is their bun, and perhaps an empty BBQ sauce dish( BBQ sauce makes everything better. Even being the weirdo that brings their own bun out to eat.) I often wonder if they think I’m some kind of crazy carnivore that.must.have.the.meat!!

Having a baby with an intolerance or allergy has not been easy, but it has led me to find many new foods that I’ll continue to eat after I stop breastfeeding. I now use So Delicious brand coconut milk creamer in my coffee, and their Icecream is delish too. I miss my regular Icecream like crazy(see above description of hand throwing and gnashing of teeth)but this has been an excellent substitute. The other upside to the great divorce from all things moo is the weightloss and skin clearing that I have found to be associated with this new lifestyle.

So, all in all not the end of the world. However, as soon as my kid decides he has no use for my boobs anymore, please step to the right as I will plow through you to the nearest coffee Icecream sundae.

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