Ok, so at this point I have now gone to two physical therapy/build up yer thaghs appointments, and I can say with certainty, I would go to physical therapy forever if I could. It’s like my own personal pilates class (most of the moves I’m now doing I did in pilates 3x weekly prior to the Great Union of the Squishables in Holy Matrimonaaay )  but with my own personal trainor making sure I am doing the moves correctly and in the right form. And can I just say? Most of the time I am NOT doing the moves correctly, and then my personal trainer dude has to come over and grab my hip and say “PHYSICAL THERAPY. YER DOIN IT WRONG”  (He doesn’t say it, it’s just what I hear.)  You see, as soon as I get on the little bed thing, I get all kinds of turned around and suddenly I’m not sure if I was supposed to bend this or flex that, crunch this or hold that, and how many sets of 8 did he want anyway? And I lie there doing my moves all wrong until he comes over and tells me how to do it correctly. Also? I forgot to shave my legs this morning so I was all sasquatchy sitting up on the table today too. Hello hairy nightmare. As a teacher this makes me feel like a failure, because HELLOOOO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS THE FIRST TIME AND MAKE GOOD CHOICES!!!  Apparently my hips make some choices of their own, such as drooping when I balance. My hips droop. Color me surprised. Other things droop too that I was TOLD wouldn’t happen until I’ve had kids, but EH, apparenly, I defy science.

OH also?In other news!?!? Yeah, my knee is making my physical therapist “Think hard” because she’s never seen my combination of screwed uppyness and oddity. They were going to try and tape my knee, and that usually helps people, but me? Oh nooo…my strong little patella broke out of that tape down move in a hurray and I *think* I heard an audible PSHAWWWWWWWWWW when she tried the brace on me. Nope. Annnnnnnnnd. Nope. There are no “modern medical devices” that will help my stupid knee. However, if I build up my thighs even more? Maybe, just maybe the knee clicking will lower itself to an audible but less “LOOOK AT MEEEEEE CLICKY KNEEEEEEE” sound.

I just realized that I’ve spent most of this blog prattling on about my knee and you, my dear reader, are probably bored at this point. (Guess what, I am including the word “prattling” in my blog because I just finished Twilight  and Edward used the word prattling in the book and omagoodness if Edward used the word then it must be the best EVAR right? Ignore the lipgloss on my teeth and the gum in my hair, I’m reliving my teenage angst past, k?)

So anyway, at these appointments I get to do weird exercise-y moves in front of everyone in the room, and one of them today thought she had the same problem as I do. My trainer guy goes “No honey, hers does something WAY weirder than yours!” Umm thanks. Yes, I know my knee is a bit…out of orbit at the moment, however, I am working hard to make it TRY and stay where it’s meant to be. Even the physical therapist exclaimed “WOW THAT THING JUST JUMPS RIGHT OUTTA THERE!!!” upon seeing my knee perform its circus act. I am awesome. It’s really that simple. And my hips? Oh my hips are glorious. You would never guess that my body from the waist down looks like a curly fry apparently and for 28 years I’ve never realized it! This must be why I really enjoy the curly  fries in particular.

Which leads me to my next point: the Weight Watchers Wagon? OH I AM SO BACK ON. Enough of this winter snacking and claiming that the 3rd handful is calorie free if I eat it with my eyes closed.  So, we’ll see. I have two points left to eat tonight and I’m leaving them there, storing them up for my yogurt splurge on Saturday. You see? It’s all about the planning really. Which is why I will shave my legs before my next appointment in which my knee gets a massage.

Filed under: Everyday, Squishy Times