I haven’t been online for realsies in days. I haven’t really thought about the “real world” in a few weeks. Atleast. I’ve been somewhere else entirely. Family has noticed it. SG has been waiting for his wife to reappear. And I…I have been lost in an epic battle of love between Jacob and Edward. Oh if it weren’t truly happening to ME I wouldn’t understand the crazy that has taken over.

It began when after seeing the movie versions of Twilight and New Moon, I thought I’d pick up the books in the local used book store just to SEE if the books were that much better than the movies. Just.to.SEE. Then I fell into a hole, deeper, and deeper, with every page. Suddenly, I had finished the second book and frantically thought about the last two novels I had left on the shelf because (I have to whisper this because I dare not say it aloud…) what if the books weren’t good? I WAS SO WRONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I was wrong in so many ways, like the lady at Walmart who decided bras weren’t for her. WRONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. So this set me on a tangent to get the other books, which I did…and which I JUST FINISHED. Like…ten minutes ago. Can I tell you???Can I TELLLLL YOUUUUUUUUUUUU??

I am not into vampires. Nor am I into violence. I am also not much into sci-fi fiction-y-ish things. But holy hot dogs, these books had me staying up until midnight during the week, moaning in agony over Bella’s latest decision to SG…WHYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYY NOTTTT JAAAACOBBB…WHYYYYYYY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH?? While he would flip off the light, climb into bed and ask me when his wife would return. I also began seeing every day things through vampire-ish lenses (I imagine they would be red.) and I would say things like “OOOOH doesn’t this sound like a vampire song?!! ?Like an Edward and Bella song!?!? Can you feel it?!! OMG this is SO vampire music!!!” while driving in the car with SG. He usually looked at me like I had lost my mind and then would try and cover his neck for some odd reason. I also began to think of Target as “So human” and wondered what MY superpower would be if I were one of the Cullens. I finally decided that it would probably be the super power of thinking delicious snacks into existence.

I also began trying to explain the books to SG, and just so ya know, explaining these things to a person who has not read the books? Makes you seem like a Trekkie. I’m not going to lie. You’re going to sound insane, because you won’t be able to contain your excitement, and you’ll end up squealing things like “NO!! She doesn’t have that power, the VOLTURI have that power, DUHHH!! and on top of that, werewolves only have 24 chromosomes- vampires have 25!!”

I.Actually.Said.These.Things.  I would hang my head in shame but I’m still on my vampire high. The thing is, the books just grip you. And to me,that’s a great book right there- one that takes you into a place and you lose all sense of reality. Well, until your husband comes in and says “Where’s my pajama pants?” Then you’re kind of like…
“umm in the meadow, why don’t you take the Jag,  but tell Carlisle you’re headed out in case he’s planning a hunt tonight.”

I have no words, except that I will so be one of the thousands of screaming fans who go to the midnight showing of Eclipse…which was my most favorite book out of the entire set.

Final Verdict?: Team Jacob. Can’t help it, I’m a sucker for dogs…or just Taylor Lautner.

I’m a dirty old hag.

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