Hello Squishies! Today marks one of the many highlights of teaching: The first day of Christmas break. Do you hear the angels singing? Do you see how everything sparkles with the knowledge of blissful consecutive days off not interrupted by someone asking you to tie their shoe, give them an eraser, to use the restroom, or if santa REALLY exists?!?!? Today, my dear Squishies, by its very nature, MUST be a good day.

And, dear ones of Squishyness, I have decided to kick off this year’s Christmas break by sharing with you the latest falalalalaaaaa-ish activities around the Squishy home.

Mr. Squish and I went to a local farm that sucks all the money out of locals celebrates Halloween and Christmas by setting up several activities that seperate you from your money  warm the hearts of all who partake. Things like a drive through light display, real reindeer, train rides, pumped in snow (yes, here in this here part of California we have to pump in our snow- Yes, it is pathetic, and yes, I’d love to live near real snow. The end.), ice skating, and such.

We then moved on to the real reindeer. They looked….real? And very un-Rudolph like. Kind of like-”If you stick your finger through the fence, I may nom on them a little and be very unapologetic about it. Merry Christmas annoying person. MERRY CHRISTMAS.”

Then we paid the swindlers nice farm people a nice sum of money to drive through their lights extravaganza. I call it an extravaganza, but it was really more like lights shaped like random things. They had lions, tigers, and elephants lit in Christmas lights. It was almost like they had done every Christmas thing they could, and then thought-”Aww heck Bubba, let’s just strang up some lights on African thangs!” However, it twas fun. They had a radio station you could tune into, to sing along with the carols. Mr. Squish did not approve of my singing, and suggested I focus full attention on driving.

This is me, giving you Squishies the gift of being in the car with me, while I usher in the Christmas spirit- ready for this?

I will leave you dear Squishies with some Christmas Card out- takes at the Squishy home:

Merry Christmas Dear Squishies! May God bless you with love, health, and happiness!

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This year I have found myself trying to slow down- trying to take in all of those little things that slip by so quickly. This year has shown me that life moves so fast and there’s no stopping time- it moves along in front of your eyes but is invisible until you stop to see it. I see it when a familiar scent takes me back to my grandparents’ gravel driveway in Idaho. Hearing the crunch under my feet as we walk inside, holding a Dr. Pepper- feeling that familiar anticipation of time spent with grandma that was a rare treat. Watching her make dinner, smelling fried chicken,listening to country music and standing under their air conditioning vent feeling cold air flow over me.

I see it when I think of high school afternoons, crisp and fresh fall evenings spent in the bleachers of a home football game.

When I remember the feeling of trying to catch my breath standing at one end of an aisle and seeing my future at the other. Whispering to Daddy “I’m so nervous.” And in his familiar calm way whispering back ” Why?There’s nothing to be nervous about.” Oh how I’m thankful for the man that took me down the aisle and the one that was waiting at the other end.

When I think of the losses we have endured between those moments and today. All of my grandparents but one have gone on to Heaven. Friends that have filtered in and out of my life like seasons. A sweet young cousin that lost his life so fast it left us all staggering and lost. These are the times I stop myself to see this invisible thing called time. Days that forever alter life. Some leaving us with lasting joy, others with lasting sadness.

One of my favorite songs by The Fray says “We’re only taking turns holding this world, when you’re older you will understand.” I find that to be true this year- wondering how to best serve the world while I hold it.

So, dear Squishies- these are my thoughts today, December 4,2010.

 Love those around you hard- love them so hard that they complain that you’re squishing their ribs and making them wonder what got into you. Slow down and enjoy these fleeting moments. Squeeze the joy out of today. Leave today wondering what hit it. Enjoy this time that you hold the world.

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Happy Post Thanksgiving-Pre Christmas Squishies! It’s the most falalalalalaaa time of year. We spent our Thanksgiving in Los Angeles, sharing pumpkin pie with Brad and Angelina and their 30 children. Only part of that statement is true, can ya guess which part? You’re right, Brad and Angie were lovely. Anyway. So we had a lovely time in SoCal, and enjoyed good times with wonderful family. Prior to leaving for L.A., I insisted we put up our Christmas decorations so that we would not do what we did last year and say to one another “I wish we had put up the tree this year…oh well, let’s just go to Macy’s.” And do you know what happens at this time every year???

If you said “Adult sized footie pajamas that make the wearer look like a giant TeleTubby” then you are correct. Please ignore the cat struggling to be free from said TeleTubby. She loves to be held against her will. It’s our thing. It was so nice coming home to a decorated house, I must say. This year I do not have to go to Macy’s to Falalalala it up! Woot!

While we were in L.A. we did touristy things. Such as, but not limited to:

Posing with fake awards in crappy gift shops.

Pretending to be famous movie stars.

 

Falling down the stairs.

Oh wait, did I hear a record screech? Yes. I believe I did. While I was Hollywooding and pretending to be nine kinds of cool that I am not, I had a slight mishap while going down some stairs at my dear Aunt-in-laws home. You see, she has wood flooring, and I was wearing socks while descending her very steep stairs to get to mah shoes, and uhh, I went-a-flying. You know how when you know something bad is happening the world slows down? This happened. I was IN THE AIR and I knew it was going to be a sitchiation.

I think it was my dear aunt’s screams, or my husband’s “What-the?”, or my mother in laws look of silent white faced desperation that really told me “today, while descending these stairs, in your Champion socks from Costco, you may die.” Lemme tell you- I was not a champion in that moment, or the moments after, where I gathered myself enough to hop up and say “ATLEAST IT WASN’T MAH KNEE!” 

I instantly knew there would be bruising…as I was definitely cruising down those stairs quite hastily, however, thankfully nothing was broken.  I mean, I fell down atleast 5 steps  and I just couldn’t catch myself, as my Squish tumbled further and further and my squishy arm continued to try and reach up to grasp the banister- it simply did not occur. So, I am a bit sore, BUT IT WASN’T MAH KNEE! It was my…well, I’ve got some issues putting on my pants- can we leave it at that? I’ve got a Joseph style technicolored dream bruise on my pants wearing area, and let me tell you, it’s just falalalalaa magical.

I hope your Thanksgiving weekend was just that fun, with less screaming, of course.

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One would think that I must have had nothing to post lately, so I just haven’t posted. One would be wrong however, because I sooooo very much had something to post. And now, I shall.

This is a story of a weekend trip turned turtle.

You see, on the way home from a nice little trip to the coast where Mr. Squish and I did a 5k for the Alzheimer’s Association, Mr. Squish was silent ,and then yelled out “WOAAAAAH!” I turned my attention from the road for a minute half expecting him to be on a horse with a lasso. The following is a snapshot of the conversation which took place on an extremely busy two way highway near marshy wetlands(this small detail will become important later):

Me: What happened!!

Mr. Squish: YOU ALMOST RAN OVER A TURTLE BACK THERE!

Me: Should I go back?? (please to be noting that my first response was not to be a normal and sane person. Oh no, it was not.)

Mr. Squish: I don’t know! It was heading for the white line!

Me: Well, we have to go back then!!!

_____________________Off road adventure ensues………U turn____________________________

Mr. Squish: What are we going to do with it?

Me: We’ll take it home!! I’ve always wanted a turtle!!I LOVE TURTLES!!!THEY NEVER RUN AWAAAAAY!!!IT CAN LIVE IN OUR BACKYARD, AND I CAN FEED IT APPLES AND SPINACH! I LOVE TUUURRRTTTTLEEEEESSSS!!!

Mr. Squish: What do we put it in?

Me: HELLOOOOOO,  I have a paper bag.

::::::At this point, we had found the turtle and Mr. Squish headed across the highway to get the turtle- even though when he got to the turtle he tried to “run” and turned his turtle butt toward us::::::::::::::

Mr. Squish: IT HAS CLAAAWWWSSS!!!!

Me: Oh, pshhhh! It’s a TUR-TULLLLLL

Me: Oh. Those are big claws. STICK IT IN THE BACK!

Once the turtle was in the back of the car it began scratching around in the bag non-stop. This was when we began 2nd guessing our decision to rescue the turtle from the white line. We continued to drive home, where we let him roam free in our backyard.

Then we began researching what kind of turtle we had on our hands, for he was not your average turtle, you see.

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1. When a huge spider web lands on my face and body while talking to another teacher, I will not try to remain normal looking AT ALL, and will fly into a frenzy of body slaps and stomping in conjunction with yelling  IS THERE A SPIDER ON MY FACE?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS IT ON MY FACE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. After #1, I will spend the remainder of the day swatting at my face when a stray hair falls across my forehead.

3. I do not value my appearance during an apparent spider attack.

4. It feels like there is a spider in my eye lashes. Right now. I don’t like.

5. Spiders cannot get dead enough in my presence. Which is why you will also hear me scream KILL IT!!KILL IT DEAD!!! If you are within a 5 mile radius of a spider killing that I am involved in.

6. I believe all living creatures are God’s creation.

7. I believe spiders were created for stepping on.

8. Except for maybe the really hairy ones with faces that look kind of dog-ish.

9. Nope, probably those too, now that I think of it.

10. I don’t know why I put this in a list.

11. It probably should have been a paragraph.

12. Sorry about that.

13.  I hate wasps more than I do spiders.

14. Wasps don’t make webs that fly all woohoo into your face though.

15. I’ve been using the term “woohoo” a lot lately. Like “My hair is doing that “woohoo” thing again.”

16. It’s kind of odd, I’ll admit it.

17. Wasps are definitely scarier than spiders.

18. I’d rather have a spider live in my bellybutton for a day than have a wasp land on my arm for a second.

19. It would have to be a really small spider with no teeth. That wore shoes.

20. I need to go wash my eyelashes.

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